I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
