This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
