I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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