i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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