That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
