Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize