Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
