I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
