I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Randomize
