There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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