He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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