Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
