My room smells like vodka and shame
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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