listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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