The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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