hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
