im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
