I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Alive.
So much puke
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
