I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
