I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
