Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
