Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
