Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
