dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
