i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
