After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
