I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
