Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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