I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize