His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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