when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She even gives head with a lisp.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
