Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
