If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
It's just like the Real World with babies
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
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This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
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Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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