My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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