How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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