Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
