Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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