Sry I called you an 8
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
