I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
