You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
