I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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