How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
