I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
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