i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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