standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
