you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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