Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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