You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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