She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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