Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
