Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
