dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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