vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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