So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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