Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Come on in and take your pants off
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