somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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