if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
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Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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