really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The power of my boobs compel you
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
