I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Barsexuality is the new black.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
