I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
