i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
