Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
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