Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
