He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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